About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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