i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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