And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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