that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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