the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
