I got her a Nickelback box set.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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