Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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