Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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