Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
