I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
