Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i out mim tonsoeep
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
