he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im about as happy as oj after his trial
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
This is my gift to your gina
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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