Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
