my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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