Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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