Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
