if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Randomize
