i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
