idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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