Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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