I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
