dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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