Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
