Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
