what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
