I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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