they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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