Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
