How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
