My nipple is on Facebook.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
