You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
