my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
