Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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