Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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