She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
