i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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