my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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