We got so high we made milksteak
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
