I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
