she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
