Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
