I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
