How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
