I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
