i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
