Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
