Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
