You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
