very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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