apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
