I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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