I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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