Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
