Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
